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When Mom Comes Back to Live With You
Gabrielle Jackson is 52 years old and the divorced mother of two teenagers. Two months ago,
her 81-year-old mother came to live with Gabrielle and her kids. Gabrielle's mother, Mrs.
Jones, was having a hard time managing on her own. She burned several pots and pans because
she forgot they were on the stove. She also fell three times and broke her wrist last fall.
Although Mrs. Jones was happy to be living with her daughter and grandchildren at first, she
started to complain about the kids' noise. She also missed her own home and was lonely during
the day when Gabrielle was at work and the kids were in school.
Mrs. Jones' forgetfulness continued; she started a small fire when she left a teakettle on
the stove too long. She also forgot where she put things and then accused the kids of "stealing"
from her. Although the Jackson children loved their grandmother, they became angry when she
forgot things and accused them of stealing. She also embarrassed them in front of their friends
by asking the friends' names repeatedly and by even forgetting her grandchildren's names.
There is no "extra" money in Gabrielle's budget to hire a companion or other help for her mother.
Her mother's income is very low (just over $7,000/year) and all of the money is spent for
clothing, personal items, medications, and medical bills. Gabrielle can't afford to quit
her job to care for her mother full-time, and she cannot bear the idea of putting her
mother in a nursing home.
What's a Daughter to Do?
Gabrielle called the local senior center and the staff referred her to Boston ElderINFO for help.
A geriatric specialist took information about Mrs. Jones and contacted Boston Senior Home Care.
An intake care manager set up an appointment to visit Mrs. Jones and her daughter in their home.
During the home visit, it became clear that Mrs. Jones could benefit from attending an adult
day health program, where she would have medical supervision and the opportunity to socialize
with other people. The care manager gave Gabrielle information about getting Medicaid benefits
for her mother, which would enable Mrs. Jones to attend the adult day health program five days
a week. Until the Medicaid application was approved, Boston Senior Home Care helped the family
arrange for one day a week at the adult day health program, including transportation to and
from the program. The care manager also referred Gabrielle to a support group for caregivers
of elderly parents.
Gabrielle is now breathing many sighs of relief. Her mother is safe and spends her days in
comfortable and enjoyable surroundings. The adult day health program also works with Mrs.
Jones to help her retain as much of her memory skills as possible. Gabrielle and her children
get support and suggestions from their caregivers' group, which helped them in their daily
life. Of course, the time may come when Mrs. Jones cannot live with her daughter any longer,
but that date is now much farther in the future.
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